I have written this article several times in my head but felt the need to think clearly before getting to my keyboard else you will feel the raw anger coming through.
I find it completely appalling the way businesses try to prey on people’s emotions and insecurities all in a bid to make money! Over the past year, I have read with disdain several marketing campaigns from various companies blaming women for being the reason their husbands have cheated on them or why their boyfriends left them for “skinnier” women.
It appears gone are the days when selling a product or service is about trying to make people feel good about themselves and rise to the top of their careers. It is now about using emotional blackmail and idle indirect threats to make their target market, particularly women, buy what they are offering by hook or by crook!
Take these 3 captions for example…
… much as I would like to quote the exact phrases, I will not since my issue is not with the companies themselves but with how they are going about their sales campaigns. The truth is what they are selling does make sense, but do not make it seem like if Mrs B does not buy your book or your product, it is, then, her fault that her husband cheated on her.
Oh yes… back to the 3 captions:
1. If you don’t buy this weight loss book, then your husband will leave you for the next skinniest girl that comes along (trust me… the exact phrase was much worse and soooo overemphasised that I just got irritated and backed out from the purchase);
2. In this issue, “How to Use Your Wardrobe to Keep Your Man”… or something along those lines; and
3. You have been wearing the same bra for 2 years, no wonder your husband is out chasing other women!
Like seriously?! What exactly is that all about?!
I actually took No 3 up with the person who sent me the broadcast because I took it very personal. How dare you suddenly blame the woman for her husband’s infidelity?! What happened to “for better or for worse?” How is it that these sales companies are shifting the blame from the men to the women?! And how can women actually get themselves sucked in by such hogwash?!
What happened to:
– “buy this weight loss book, feel great and bring the romance back into your marriage by taking your husband back in time to the days you first met”; or
– “change your boring wardrobe and get your mojo back! Remember ‘ambition is the new sexy’ and you will get there with a brand new wardrobe!”; or
– “get that sexy bra and bring your cleavage back to stir him up in the right places. Remember… bright and perky is the name of the game”.
… or something along those lines.
Trust me, I believe women are not that stupid. If they are having issues with their marriages and relationships, you will stir them to action. NOT slapping them in the face for what was not their fault in the first place.
Besides, men! Have you ever had a conversation with your women about how they look? Have you ever told them if they don’t change, you will cheat on them?! Why let the companies do the dirty work for you?! And how can you even justify cheating… for whatever reason?!
I recall a training I was at last year when a man complained that since he got married, his wife has stopped exposing her chest and her legs and he is concerned because that’s what attracted him to her. And I asked him, “have you discussed this with her?”
And ladies…this is the point where I begin to attack you.
How can you let society dictate to you what you can and cannot wear? What you should and should not wear?! I remember when I was getting married, a close friend of mine told me “there are certain expectation of you as a married woman” and I thought it was hogwash! Let your husbands or boyfriends do the complaining not society! The same society who you listened to are now coming back to blame you for listening to them. Like seriously?! Does anyone ever own up to their responsibilities around here?! Why must everyone play the blame game?!
Only 2 days ago, I was looking at my waist line and was worried that if I didn’t find a way to control it, my clothes would not look good on me anymore. That is what it should be about! Looking good and feeling good about yourself! When you do what needs to be done to bring your confidence back, then people are attracted to you. If you are insecure, that transmitter is sending out those signals so strongly that every radar around you is picking them up!
And don’t let any company trying to take your hard-earned cash bully you into parting with your funds either! Do it for yourself! Only God’s grace and lots of prayers keep families together. After all, how do you explain a man who cheats on his spouse with someone whose physical features are not even up to a tenth of what you have got?!
I just heard a story about someone last week. His wife in such a stunner that there really is no comparison between her and the lady he cheated on her with that I still wonder what he was thinking!
So really, sometimes it is not about you. It could be about the other person and his issues! A cheating man will always cheat no matter how many weight-loss books you buy or hours you spend at the gym.
Besides, it just might be your insecurity that could be the greatest turn-off of all… or your attitude!
And similar to what Christina Aguilera said in her song, always remember that…
You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says.
Never let people’s words and actions bring you down!
I’m not saying don’t take care of yourself. PLEASE DO! It is vital to keep the spark alive. I am sure you would hate it if your boyfriend or spouse suddenly started growing a pot-belly when it was his 6-pack that drew you to him in the first place.
But please don’t let anyone threaten you with an idea or a notion that anyone will leave you. Yes it might be a reason but it is never a good enough reason for anyone to disrespect you or cheat on you!
And don’t you ever forget that!